back to work...

I went back to my job this week. I had mixed feelings about it. First I felt glad to get back to a semblance of a normal life, but at the same time I feel stressed because I felt like I've missed so much in the past year. I was on disability for almost 6 months, thats half a year! I feel like I don't know anything anymore and its a little frustrating. I'm sure I iwll get back in the swing of things but right now I just feel woefully inadequate!

I spent last Friday in the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack or something. I had all the symptoms, and then when I went online and read that the chemo drug I am taking can cause heart problems, well then my imagination got the best of me. I was sure I was having a heart attack. So I called my doctor and she sent me to the ER. Luckily, I wasn't having a heart attack. They couldnt really find anything wrong with me, other than the fact that I was having heart palpitations.

On the brighter side, I have also seen many women online at breastcancer.org who are saying that Avastin has been a life saver for them and has completely wiped out their cancer, so I am hoping it works as well for me. I can't wait to be able to go back to a normal life. Jogging, lifting weights, exercising and not getting out of breath easily. No aches, pains, headaches and general tiredness. That will be so nice when I get back there.

I have a feeling that people think since I am back at work that I am all through with treatment. I have had a few people say to me, "You look so good!" Thats fine and everything, ( I'm glad I look good!) but I am still trying to struggle through every day. I have to put limits on myself, and its always been hard for me to do that. I'm a work in progress! I think most people are!