Feeling kind of "hinkey"

I'm in a weird mood today. First I was really tired this morning, could hardly wake up. Now its about 8pm and I'm feeling edgy and wound up, like I should be doing something. It's hard for me to sit around like this when I don't feel good. I am a very active person. I'm generally always doing something. The last couple of days I haven't even been able to crochet (my new hobby)because my hands hurt from the chemo side effects. I always feel like I should be doing something (the third time I said "something"--what that is--I don't know), that's why I am generally awake until 2 or 3 in the morning. I'm going to have to go back to normal sleep hours when I go back to work. I'm supposed to go back in the middle of the month. My company has been really great about my cancer and accommodating me, its just that my disability money has come into dispute. NY state says that I have run out of short term disability, but my company insists that since I went back to work for 30 days in November/December, that their policy is that I get 6 more months of disability. I have a feeling I won't win on this one, so I am going back to work. I don't like worrying about paying the bills.

Tomorrow I get my new dosage of Xeloda. I have a dilemma though. I want to go to Florida to visit my sister (pic above is of me in Florida last summer...I love it there). I hope that in heaven they have beaches and mountains because that is where I would love to spend my time. I have a ticket I bought (several months ago) on an airline that has recently gone out of business (I'm sure you have heard of them). I want to use the ticket but I have to wait until they stop operations as of midnight tonight. Then I can call tomorrow and get my ticket transferred (supposedly). I called Airtran (because that's one of the airlines I can transfer too) and they said that they will charge me $200 bucks for a definite seat, or $100 for a standby seat. So anyway I do it, I am spending more money that I can't afford. This is what I am thinking of doing. Buying a cheaper ticket on Airtran.com (because they are cheaper than $200 online) and then just applying for a refund from the other airline. The cost of the ticket on the other airline was a lot more than the cost of a ticket on Airtran. Still, I am nervous because I am trying not to run up my credit cards. I already have quite a debt. My logic is, the refund will more than cover what I am about to charge (twisted, I know, I'm still spending money). I won't ask my sister for the money because she has already paid for me to visit her twice this past year. I love her to death and I feel guilty that she is spending so much money on me when her business isn't doing very well. I am so desperate to get away because the weather here is dismal! We haven't seen the sun in about 10 days! I am not exaggerating. I don't know how people in Alaska do it! I would need one of those sun lamps. Anyway, if the doctor says its ok I will probably go. I need a little "fun in the sun" before I go back to work.