Clinical trial?

A lot has happened since my last post. I have had to make a decision. I have done a lot of research into clinical trials and found out that most clinical trials don't want you or find you less desirable after the third round of chemo. Avastin and Xeloda has been my second round, so I decided to try to look for a clinical trial that was right for me.

I spent a week searching and nothing. No one wanted me because of my hormonal and protein status. My cancer is not influenced by estrogen or progesteron (surprising, considering the years I spent taking birth control pills), nor is it influenced by the protein HER2. If it were it would make me eligible for a whole host of new drugs like Tamoxifen and Herceptin. So I call and email trials, asking if they are accepting ER/PR- and HER2- women and they either say it in their website literature or they tell me via email or phone, NO. I was getting depressed and very discouraged.

Then I found a study in Florida, right near the town where my sister lives and I felt like it was meant to be. It seemed suited for someone like me. I spent the last week down there having tests and talking to Doctor's and I signed papers to join the study. I like the doctor and nurse, I think the drugs sound good, I feel really good about this, but there is one big problem. My insurance company might not pay for it. I am disgusted. I called my company and was told by a rep that because the drug is not approved for breast cancer patients (its approved for colon cancer) that it may be considered an experimental drug and I may not be covered for any of the tests, lab cost etc. This study is not free. My insurance has to cover tests, lab costs, procedures, etc. It should cover 70% out of network, then I pay the remaining 30%. I don't know what I am going to do if it doesn't cover it. I think that in cases such as mine that insurance companies should be forced to pay. It's not right that I have to worry about banckrupting my husband and leaving him with a debt that will take years to pay (if I don't live through it). It's just not right. I feel like I shouldn't have changed the name of this blog from "Life isn't Fair" to "Living with Cancer," because life sure is not fair at the moment.

Anyway, I have decided to go ahead with the treatment no matter what. Here we go. Jumping in feet first. I've always been that way and I guess I always will, a risk taker.